How To Talk To Your Partner About Starting Your Own Business (So They’ll Jump On Board)

Hey, you.

Yes, you — with the big dreams and fire in your belly and passion in your heart. You can (and should!) launch your own business doing the thing you love. You’d be amazing at it, and I know it’ll give you the freedom, value and fulfillment you’re seeking.

So, what’s taking you so long? Let me take a few guesses:

You’re already in a life routine with your partner and quitting your day job to pursue your dream business isn’t in your joint five-year plan.

Or… you know your partner loves and supports you but finances are tight and it would be selfish to suggest something like this.

Or… I don’t know your partner, so I don’t know what I’m talking about and I wouldn’t understand.

Am I close?

There might be a ton of reasons why you’re nervous to confess to your partner that you’re ready and willing to take a chance on yourself and start your own business, but listen to me carefully: You’ve gotta do it. Move through this step. Start the process. The faster they can get on board, the faster you can step into your new entrepreneur-self and build the foundation to a business that will feed your soul and both of your wallets!

Here is what I recommend when it comes to talking to your partner about starting your own business (so they can get on board, too).

1. Show them you have a plan. Yes, the more detailed the better. If you can outline an exit strategy for your current day job, describe your building and launching game plan for new work, and/or identify how you plan to build your business up, that’s great!

If you don’t have all of this flushed out yet, that’s ok, too! Start by clarifying what you do know, mainly: you aren’t happy with what you’re doing and you know you have the experience, resources (hi! that’s me!), and know-how to launch the biz you’re dreaming up inside. This will signal to them this isn’t a “phase” you’re going through or an impulsive conversation, but rather something you’re thinking about strategically and considering from all angles, including and especially the ones you know will be important to them.

2. Make it a conversation, not a monologue. If your partner operates like most humans, they will want to feel included in this kind of big decision. Even if you’ve already set some firm lines in the sand for yourself, give them the opportunity to share input or express their feelings. As you hit challenges or bump up against disagreements, take it as an opportunity to compromise. 

Here’s an example: Perhaps you’re comfortable saving up $2000 before quitting your day job, but they need a little bit more in the bank to feel secure. That’s OK, fair, and worth discussing! If you can find a middle ground and create the road map together, it will make for a more supportive, smoother biz-building journey in the long run (because who needs the tension at home if you can nip it in the bud!?)

3. Keep them posted along the way, especially when you check off milestones. Share your progress as you go! Built your website? Tell them! Wrote your sales page? Share it! Have a client lead? Pop the champagne! (Just don’t jinx it, ah!) If you know your partner is the type who needs frequent updates to feel like “something is happening,” find ways to let them in on your day-to-day biz building happenings so they know something great is cooking. If it’s better to let them know about the big stuff only, totally fine. Just signal it’s all coming together like you said it would to calm any lingering jitters.

4. Give them a grace period to process the news and don’t take their knee jerk reaction personally. First of all, they’re human. Big news often yields big responses. Learning their partner has been planning a life change might take their mind a minute to wrap around, and not everyone processes things at the same speed. If they aren’t warming up to the idea as immediately as you’d like, try to give them some space to take it in and nurture their understanding. Answer questions the best that you can and remind them that they’re still a priority in your life. The hope is that once they see how prepared and profesh you totally are, they’ll come around.

Personal story break: When my husband Luke and I first had the “I’m-thinking-of-quitting-my-job-and-becoming-a-career-coach-for-Pete’s-sake” conversation, his response was: “Sure, once you make as much money coaching that you do in your job now. Then you can quit.” Very big newsflash for poor 2007 Luke: That was not realistic. That was never going to happen. I could never clone myself and work two full-time jobs to make two full-time salaries without losing my full-blown mind and fully ruining everything. I ultimately gave him (and me!) a day to process his concerns and percolate on how to explain why and how that wasn’t going to work for me. We found a way to compromise on what we both needed to feel safe and supported and 10+ years later, here I am!

5. If they’re going to be a negative no matter what, look for support elsewhere. Hey, “I’ll believe it when I see it” people are out there, and maybe you’re in a relationship with one. If this is the case, do what you need to do to protect your excitement, momentum, and drive, and do the work on your own time. Look for support in other places with other friends or relatives (or coaches!) and keep your biz as close to your chest as you can when it comes to your skeptical partner. They’ll feel like a real dummy (and also be proud AF) when you show them who’s the actual boss of your new dream business! (<– Psst: that’s you!)

Ultimately, we choose our partners for a reason, and hopefully part of that reason includes a shared capacity to nurture and cherish each other’s dreams. But, if your partner still can’t jump on board with your “crazy” business dreams, then I need you to know this: You can make it happen anyway. I’m here to help, and I have a whole bunch of like-minded women out there who can lift you up on this journey. We get you, we believe in you, and we’re here to support you.

90 Day Business Launch is a safe place to dive deep into your true life’s business desires and bring to life what’s hiding in there. Together we will identify the kind of work you’ll be excited to wake up and do every day and set the foundation to truly thrive as a business owner. Your partner will be all like, “Whatttt?” and “Wowwww” and “Hell yes, I am lucky to have her!”